My Day

Since I have nothing else to talk about at the moment, may I say "Happy Birthday" to me. (29 again, btw)

Things an Archivist Should Never Say (Work Version)

"I can do that project in ONE week!"

"Just set your coffee on these papers over here."

"You know all the rain we had this weekend? Well, I took some records home with me on Friday, and..."

"Our budget is big enough already, thank you."

"Oh yeah? Then keep your damn records!"

"You really are a strange person." (To prospective donor)

"I don't think this EAD thing will catch on."

"Autographs for sale! Autographs for sale!"

"Of course archivists don't throw anything away."

"Finding aids are way overrated."

Well, %#!*!

It's snowing. Again. Madame Nature, apparently miffed that I missed the eight inches of snow Maine got last week while I was freezing in Georgia, is visiting this cursed stuff upon us again. We're expecting 6-10 more inches of sleet and snow today and tonight.

But it's not all bleak up here. A new restaurant opened recently, right here in sunny Lewiston: Fuel. The Wife and I went this week, after my return from Golfing Wonderland, and really enjoyed it. (For the record, I had the Steak Frite, while she had the butternut squash soup, Caesar salad with white anchovies, and potato and leek gratin.) So much so that we're going again with the co-workers this weekend.

If we can get out the door, that is. #$!@&!

Ten Things from the Past Week

I'm back from my trip to that little golf tournament in Augusta (Georgia, not Maine)! So for those of you who are curious, or merely bored, here are a few observations from the week that was.

1. It was cold, as this pic shows. Not Maine cold, but cold for Georgia in April. Temps were in the 50s and low 60s, with steady winds topping 10 mph and gusts up to 30. More like football weather, but still preferable to hot and humid days any time.

2. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about the Masters is that you're not gouged by high food prices. $2.50 for a chicken sandwich, $1.50 for all others and any sodas, and water and candy for a buck. Don't remember the beer prices, since I didn't drink any. You can be there for an entire day (our days usually ran from 9 til 7 or so) and eat for less than ten dollars.

3. You really, really can't appreciate just how hilly the course is on TV. You are constantly standing on slopes while spectating, and I believe there are only 18 flat and level spots on the entire course -- the tee boxes.

4. Fashion alert! (For you, SusieC) Sure, there was a preponderance of all-black outfits and a disturbing amount of sweater vests, but some of the outfits had to be seen to be believed. Like Englishman Ian Poulter: Here's his Sunday getup. Nice shoes too. Here he is from Friday -- yes the shoes matched the pants. I liked Swede Henrik Stenson for being the only golfer I saw give in to the chilly weather on Saturday. Then there's this collage of another of Poulter's digs (shoes were pink, too), a few random belts, and Darren Clarke's lovely plaid trousers. And here's Clarke again as a Limey. Finally, there's Shingo Katayama, who always wears those silly hats. (And read this for more on Poulter, or go to his website and click on 'Media Gallery'.

5. Unless you just despise golf, you have to go to the Masters if you get the chance, even if just for a day. It really is greener, prettier, and just better than it appears on TV, despite the constantly gushing coverage. And if you like laughing at the obnoxious (and who doesn't?) then this is the place for you. Actual overheard conversation: "Dude, where are you going for break?" "Dunno. Went to Vail last year, but it's so boring. Maybe Bermuda. Wanna go?"

6. Sadly, I spotted no celebrities in the crowd this week. (In past years I've seen Jimmy Connors, Susan Anton, and Charlie Rose. I didn't say they were A-listers, did I?) But there were numerous golf wives to be seen -- all were tanned, most were blonde. In short, trophies. I don't know a one of them, but I'm sure they're all very nice, just darling. No sign of Elin tho.

7. Our chairs were stolen on Saturday, and this appears to be a more common occurrence recently. So if you're buying used Masters folding chairs on eBay, know that they've probably been stolen.

8. The hand-operated scoreboards around the course are a nice touch, and fun to watch as the scores are being posted. On Saturday, however, the wind blew one of the names (for Adam Scott) out of its slot and onto my head. No damage was done, but I'll get you Mr Scott. Just you wait.

9. Being away from the Northeast for a week, I haven't been deluged with all things Red Sox and Dice-K. Ah well, all good things must end.

10. Ok, enough golf. Now on to the really important stuff.

I just got Stupider.

On weekends, when the Wife and I are not driving to Brunswick or Portland, or fuming about another onslaught of snow, we (ok, I) watch a lot of sports. This weekend it was mostly basketball, with some hockey and golf Sunday. After watching the Penguins demolish the hapless Bruins, I lazed about watching Tiger win again and hearing the gushing about The-Deity-That-Is-Tiger over and over from the NBC crew. Which is where the title of this entry comes in.

Why, oh why, does NBC persist in having Jimmy Roberts constantly annoy us with his presence? Usually it's his garishly mawkish pieces on some forgotten or beaten-to-death item, carefully calculated to tug our heartstrings and move us to tears. Sunday, however, it was a brief "conversation" with some guy (name forgotten, but probably the PGA's version of Matt Drudge) breaking the news that Phil Mickelson was seen practicing with Butch Harmon after that day's round. So what, you say? Butch Harmon is not Phil's coach! Jimmy added his own little "the chat rooms will be on fire over this" comment, to help us figure out just how important this news really is. Proving once again that life really is like high school. I just hope Phil's coach Rick Smith will be, like, so totally over this by the Prom.

Oh, and remind me next month to stay out of spitting distance from this guy. Blech.

Still Alive

Too busy and cold to post; more coming soon, tho. Another wintry blast today -- the high will be 8, tonight's low -5.

But only one month until I get to go here.

Snow, redux...

...or, Yet Another Sign I'm No Longer in the South. (Along with truck commercials advertising cheap plows with every new truck, restaurants with snowmobile stations, and a lamentable lack of hush puppies.)

By my count, here in happ'nin' central Maine we've had 9 snowfalls -- counting flurries and dustings -- totalling about 21 inches of accumulation. So Sunday I'm watching the local weather, and the weatherma-- excuse me, meteorologist-- says "Looks like we could get our first measurable snowfall on Wednesday."

Apparently, if you don't need to measure with a yardstick, it doesn't count. Expectations are for 12-18 inches of snow -- stay tuned.

Snow

Although we've had several small snows totaling about 7 inches so far this winter, today's storm is being called the "first snow of the season" by the locals. As a transplanted Southerner, I can only wonder at this perspective. But I must say I do like the lack of panic on the local news, and the fact that life seems to generally go on as planned. But I still can't wait for summer, and I've already stocked up on milk, toilet paper, peanuts, and beer. You know, staples.

In keeping with the semi-archival theme of this blog, here is an appropriate link for today, about the blizzard of 1996. I remember this storm, as I was living in central Virginia at the time. The snow measured 19" at our house when all was said and done, and my visiting sister-in-law got stuck with us for several days. On top of the snow, we had a deep freeze for a few days afterwards, and then another big storm (about a foot, iirc) not long thereafter. Our old Datsun froze solid (keys wouldn't work, couldn't shift gears once I did get in), and I didn't hear a car go by our house for nearly a week. My wife remembers saying at the time "I will never move to New England." Who says there are no cosmic jokes, eh?

So if you're in the northeast and reading this, enjoy the weather today. If you're in my old stomping grounds -- likely wearing shorts and thinking "Ha ha, sucker" -- I'll be thinking of you in August.

MacGyver's Archival Glossary: Microspatula

A thin cylinder of metal, flattened at both ends, typically used for removing staples, paperclips, and other unwanted items during archival processing. Also useful for/as...

...testing doneness of cakes, muffins, etc
...emergency surgery
...earwax removal
...office drum circles
...a double-bladed lightsaber for your Star Wars playsets

Note: only attempt the above actions under the supervision of a professional. Expect mockery.

Nero had an Archivist?

Yep, according to this article. I can imagine that, even in today's world of tight budgets, staff cuts, and impending drafts, that working for a possibly unstable emperor would have been, say, less than fun.

Also, October is American Archives Month. So stop by your local archives and check them out! Even if you don't find anything fabulous, you'll bump up their monthly statistics, and the staff will love you for it.

A Larch Visit

Sitting at home this weekend, watching all my favorite football teams lose, lose, and lose again, naturally my mind began wandering to more important topics. Namely, I wondered how many anagrams I could get out of the word 'archivist'? Better yet, how many from 'archivalist'?" Imagine my surprise and disgust when I check archivesblogs.com on Monday to find that someone beat me to it! Not having anything else original to post this week, I decided to follow through with my idea for this post, copying -- I mean, sincere flattery -- notwithstanding. A quick visit to this site and typing in my handle gave a long list of results, the best (?) of which include the title of this post, and these:

A Vicars Hilt
A Rivals Itch
Sir Lava Itch
Clash Trivia
Cash Trivial
His Viral Cat
Ah Viral Tics

Interestingly, anagramming for 'Brett Favre' yielded "Bar Fret Vet," which doesn't mean anything on the surface but does sound like it could be a newspaper headline about despairing Packer fans.

This Week's Mailbag

Dear Archivalist:

I am a new archival student and will be getting an internship at Big-Mega-State University. Can you give a rookie a few pointers as I start my new career?
Signed, Newbie Arranger


Dear NA,

Never fear, Newb! Here is your quick guide to getting along with everyone in your new home, and wherever you may go in the future. Remember, collaboration is key, so follow these guidelines to the letter!

1. Food is acceptable everywhere in the archives except actually in boxes on the shelves. Unless that is where you store your candy supply, that is. It's also very important to remember to always give a cut of whatever food you bring into the archives to the archivist and any other staff that he/she deems necessary to placate. This applies to all foods except rice cakes.

2. Never never NEVER use the word 'miscellaneous' in your descriptive efforts: no 'miscellaneous' folders, series, or collections! This word is a constant and nearly indestructible bane of archives, along with silverfish, mold, and library budget cutting committees. If access and description are what we're all about, then why use a term that furthers the cause of neither? This is a lazy and disgusting term, and you should avoid it like you would light beer and unsalted peanuts.

3. Pencils only, please. Pens are for poking, throwing, and finding at the bottom of drawers and bookbags. However, don't let this stop you from getting your institution's name printed on a pen and handing them out by the thousands at that next local/regional/national meeting. Archivists, like most people, love free pens. We just ... can't use them on the job.

4. Hire student employees/interns. They provide a cheap (ideally, free) way to bring your repository up to snuff technologically. As long as you have an endless supply of student workers, you will never have to bother to learn just what the terms 'rss,' 'wiki,' or 'digitization' actually mean.

5. Attend professional conferences. These can be invaluable resources, places where you can learn new techniques, make new friends and visit with old ones, and obtain excellent pointers on resume- and career-building. Quick tip: those camera phone pix from a meeting's closing bash can make excellent job interview blackmail in a few years.

Welcome

Is that a welcome to you or to me? Anyway, welcome to Archival Trash, your bloggedly low-tech, often low-brow place for random musings on archives, sports, and other things that come into my view from time to time.

First, a little about me. I am a professionally trained and employed archivist ("Ich bin ein Arkiver..."), working in a small archives in Maine. I recently moved here with my wife, Mrs. Archivalist, and my cat, [She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named], so expect a few upcoming posts about our adventures as we explore our new home. Don't expect any posts about the details of my job, tho, because I value my employment too much. However, feel free to post comments about your job at any time, as we'd love to share and savor your discontent.

Again, welcome aboard. If at any time you feel a little sick, please sit down and breathe into the bag provided.