It really is the most wonderful time of the year, even if your team isn't playing. This year could be a classic: the dominant, two-way Red Wings, and the youthful high-flying Penguins. On paper, it looks like all Detroit: 23 Cup wins on the team, the league's best defensman, a great defense, good-enough goaltending, solid scoring depth, and enough talent up and down the lineup to outskate any team on any night. But I don't count out the Pens. Their no-name defense has stifled everyone this playoff season, Marc-Andre Fleury is a budding star in net, and of course Crosby and Malkin. So who do I pick? Not just to spite the Caps and Rangers fans out there (you know who you are) I say...Pens in 7.

Down to the Final Four, which means that seeing the Cup hoisted is only a month and a half away! Ah, hockey in June -- is there anything better?

EAST
PIT vs. PHI -- Well, I guessed right and the Flyers did indeed handle the Habs pretty easily. As did Crosby and Co. against the Rangers. Philadelphia will throw everything they have at the Pens, and this could be a high-flying, exciting series right from the first whistle. The difference as I see it comes down to two areas: Pittsburgh has two superstars (Crosby and Malkin), to the Flyers none (AND I think the Pens supporting forwards are much deeper than Philly's); and the Pens have a more mobile defensive corps (although I think both sets of blueliners are the weak links on these teams). In net, given Martin Biron's recent dramatics, I think the teams wash; Fleury isn't yet a star, but can win games when the offense sputters. So...PIT in 6.

WEST
DET vs. DAL -- I have a friend, a Wings fan, here in Lewiston who greets me every time by shouting "The DOMINATOR!" Not really relevant, I know, and yet... So, which Dallas team will show up? The one that stumbled down the stretch, or the one that handily beat the favored Sharks? Will Marty Turco remember who he is, or will he become the next great playoff goaltender? As much as I would like to not root for a team that (still) has players older than I am, I can't go against the Wings. The stars say that the Wings won't be stopped here, and there's nothing the Stars can do about it. DET in 6.

On to Round 2 of the NHL playoffs! A big thank you to the Colorado Avalanche for ruining my perfect record. Let's see if we can't do just as well this time around...

EAST
(1)Montreal vs. (6)Philadelphia -- Both teams survived Game 7 tests. Will this series also go the distance? Mmm...probably not. Call me crazy, but I think the Flyers will pull this one out. Carey Price has got to have Habs fans a bit worried. PHI in 6.

(2)Pittsburgh vs. (5)New York Rangers -- I think this will be a great series. The Pens blew the doors off the hapless Senators, and the Rangers--gods be praised--knocked Martin Brodeur out. Crosby and Malkin will be too much though, although I think this will go the distance. PIT in 7.

WEST
(1)Detroit vs. (6)Colorado -- Maybe if Claude Lemieux and Patrick Roy have anything left in the tank, they can make this another great Wing/Avalance series. The Wings aren't quite the powerhouse that they appeared to be a few months ago, but they'll get by here. DET in 6.

(2)San Jose vs. (5)Dallas -- I thought the Sharks were for real, then they went and almost blew it against the Flames. So will the Stars keep rolling after ousting the defending champs? Eh...no. SJ in 6.

So what if Carolina isn't playing! It's the NHL playoffs, dammit! Nothing else matters! (At least until Saturday, when The Masters is on CBS.) With that in mind, here are my fearless predictions for 2008.

EAST
(1)Montreal vs. (8)Boston -- Seriously, how many here thought the Bruins would actually make the playoffs? And how many think they'll beat the Canadiens? Me neither. MTL in 5.

(2)Pittsburgh vs. (7)Ottawa -- Back in December, this would have been a marquee matchup. Since then, the Senators have done just about everything wrong, while the Pens kept winning, even when NHL Meal Ticket (aka Sidney Crosby) went out of the lineup. Ottawa has enough to keep it close, but if the Pens can score (and if Marian Hossa remembers he wears a Pens jersey now), the Sens won't win. PIT in 6.

(3)Washington vs. (6)Philadelphia -- The big question in this series is how well will the Caps defensive forwards Bengt Gustafsson and Kelly Miller shut down the Propp/Poulin/Kerr line....oh wait...(Archivists really do live in the past.) Ok, as great as Ovechkin is, think with your head, Caps fans. You've been 'hot' lately, but you're about to be 'not.' PHI in 5.

(4)New Jersey vs. (5)New York Rangers -- Ugh. Can both these teams lose, please? I voted against the blueshirts last year (against Atlanta, hahahaha), so I won't make that mistake again. The Devils still have Brodeur, but who's gonna score? NYR in 6.


WEST
(1)Detroit vs. (8)Nashville -- Ok, Preds fans, repeat after me: "Getting to the playoffs was a moral victory and I will be satisfied with that." Now don't you feel better? DET in 5. (Best chance for a sweep, here)

(2)San Jose vs. (7)Calgary -- This could be the toughest, ugliest series in the first round. If San Jose is for real this year, we'll know early in this series. I think they're for real. SJ in 6.

(3)Minnesota vs. (6)Colorado -- Don't you bet the Avs wish they still had Sakic, Forsberg, and Foote from their glory days? What...? They still do? Ok, this series is where youth and skill beat age and treachery. MIN in 5.

(4)Anaheim vs. (5)Dallas -- Hm. I take back that SJ/CGY comment. THIS series could be the ugliest. Since I don't really like either team, I'll hope for Chris Pronger to go home early. DAL in 7.

The snow, that is. With record amounts of the stuff piling up around the state, you'd be forgiven if you need to find creative outlets involving snow. And if you're the folks in Bethel, you build things. Like the world's tallest snowman.

Angus, the world's tallest snowman, was built in 1999 and named after then-governor Angus King. A few stats from the website tell the tale:
Height -- 113 ft. & 7 inches tall
Weight -- 9,000,000 lbs
200,000 cubic feet of snow
4 ft. wreathes as eyes
6 ft. of chicken wire & muslin for the carrot nose
6 automobile tires as the mouth
20 ft. fleece hat
120 ft. fleece scarf
3 skidder tires for the buttons
2 - 10 ft. trees for arms


As if that weren't enough, now they're at it again. Today, Bethel will unveil Olympia, soon to become the world's tallest snowwoman. She'll top out over 122' and 12,000,000 pounds (for a BMI of 3936, just a bit into the obese zone.) Olympia also has 30' pine trees for arms; hopefully they'll post full stats on the website soon. In '99 it took Angus 15 weeks to melt: Given this crazy winter, Olympia may actually grow in the coming weeks.

The forecast? Six to ten more inches of snow for us overnight, maybe over a foot at Bethel.

Those of you who aren't hockey fans can tune out now. For the two of you who are, you know today was the trading deadline in the NHL. While there were probably just two blockbuster-type deals league-wide (PIT getting Marian Hossa and DAL getting Brad Richards), there was plenty of action overall. Here's the AT evaluation of deals involving our favorite division at Archival Trash, the mighty Southeast.

CAROLINA HURRICANES
Get: C/LW Tuomo Ruutu
Lose: LW Andrew Ladd
The Skinny: Hard to say. Ladd is younger, slightly cheaper, and a bit bigger. Both players, former first-round picks, have been injury-prone and are considered minor disappointments. Right now, the edge goes to Carolina, given Ruutu's experience (even though with the Hawks he had no playoff experience) and proven grit. Should Ladd put it together however, down the road it should favor the Hawks.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Get: G Cristobal Huet, C Sergei Fedorov, F Joe Motzko, LW Matt Cooke
Lose: 2nd round pick, D Ted Ruth (prospect), C Alexandre Giroux, LW Matt Pettinger
The Skinny: The Caps add forward depth with Motzko, get a kind-sorta gritty winger in Cooke, hope to resurrect Fedorov for a few weeks, and land an heir apparent to Olie the goalie. I think these are all good deals for the Caps, especially if the 90 year-old Fedorov clicks with Ovechkin.

ATLANTA THRASHERS
Get: C Erik Christensen, RW Colby Armstrong, C Angelo Esposito (prospect), C Alexandre Giroux, PIT 1st round pick
Lose: RW Marian Hossa, LW Pascal Dupuis, F Joe Motzko
The Skinny: Hossa was going to walk anyway, Dupuis is marginal, and Motzko is a fringe player. Christensen and Armstrong won't score like Hossa, but they're character guys and will play hard every night. Esposito has been maligned constantly since playing his way out of being picked #1 overall last year (he wound up going 20th), but is still a quality prospect. Getting an extra first rounder is just icing on the cake, especially after getting rooked out of multiple picks in the Keith Tkachuk deal last year. Probably the best deals in the division.

FLORIDA PANTHERS
Get: LW Chad Kilger, D Karlis Skrastins, goon Wade Belak, TOR 5th round pick
Lose: 3rd round pick, D Ruslan Salei, COL 3rd round pick
The Skinny: Bzzt! I'm sorry, you lose again, Panthers fans. Skrastins is decent, but Kilger will drive you nuts, and Belak is a younger version of Pete Worrell (ie, bad). At least they didn't try to reacquire Todd Bertuzzi.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
Get: G Mike Smith, C Jeff Halpern, F Jussi Jokinen, NAS 7th round pick
Lose: C Brad Richards, G Johan Holmqvist, LW Jan Hlavac
The Skinny: Can you say "Salary Dump?" I guess the Lightning are building for next year, but I question whether Smith can be the big #1 they're hoping for, Halpern is a nice two-way forward, but is nearly 32, and Jokinen is (for now) just a shootout specialist. But, at least they're under the cap now, which could pay off this summer if they can land a free agent or two.

Today we bring you the first edition of the AT Book Review. Our review features a hefty tome from 2005, Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian. (NOTE: Spoilers are included, so if this book is on your to-read list, skip to the end.)

Let me just start by saying that this was one bad book, all 642 pages of it. After plowing through a couple hundred pages over a few evenings, it took all my strength to keep coming back to it. I waited and waited for something -- anything -- to happen. Okay, okay, we get a few deaths, almost all "off-camera," one near-sex scene, several more-boring-than-usual academic conferences, and miles and miles of travelogue. Only the final item comes closest to being interesting.

The story: Dracula lives (sort of). And he's looking for a historian. Or an archivist (so he says). So Vlad goes and plants these special dragon-symbol books in various libraries and archives around the world, and several characters eventually unearth them. These discoveries inspire our heroes to hunt for Dracula's final resting place. Only each time they start their research, nasty things happen to the people around them. The novel follows a number of these unfortunates -- separately, and, for the reader, drearily together -- through much of the twentieth century, skipping back and forth from the 1930s, 50s, 70s, and the present day. Needless to say, blood is shed mysteriously, some characters behave menacingly, our heroes fret discouragingly, and the plot evolves adverbially.

There are two major problems with this book. First: Why, if Drac really wants to be found by these elite academics, does he then try to frighten them off? Why not just find some competent historian or archivist, make them undead, and solve your problem for all time? We eventually find out he's a discerning reader, has saved/acquired numerous priceless volumes, and has no trouble going anywhere in the world. What gives?

The second, and the biggest problem, is this: once we finally meet El Vladdo (nearly 600 pages in, mind you), he's captured one of our intrepid (read: doomed) hunters and has him begin ... Cataloging His Books! No research. No searching for more ancient tomes. Just making a catalog. Dracula finally has a world-renowned historian in his grasp, a classicist who probably knows even more than does Mr. Impaler, and he has the good professor catalog his library. I only hope our-soon-to-die professor has read his AACR2. (Kostova doesn't say.)

THE GOOD NEWS: Kostova received a $2 MILLION advance for this book. Maybe I should write a story about Dr. Frankenstein and his desire to archive his personal papers.

THE BAD NEWS: There may be a sequel. And a movie.

THE VERDICT: Unless you're an insomniac cataloger who wants to see archivists and academic historians kick the bucket, don't waste your time.