Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Your Maine Summer Travel Guide

Yes, summer has been with us for over a month, and it's even stopped snowing here in Maine. But now that August is here, it's officially high travel season here in Stephenkinglevania. With that in mind, and as a one-year Maine resident with almost no credibility, I present to you a few travel tips to help you get the most out of your next trip to Maine.

1. Enough with the lobster jokes already. We've heard them all, believe me.

2. Bear in mind that, on any road, people will pull out in front of you regardless of how close you are to them. They will also swerve out of their lane and into yours to avoid something. Relax -- this does not mean they don't like you ... unless you're from out-of-state.

3. Mainers love their motorcycles, and the louder the better. So make sure that hotel room you're overpaying for doesn't face a road. Pony up that extra c-note for the waterfront view.

4. Don't drink the Moxie. Trust me. And avoid the red hot dogs.

5. On any day over 75 degrees, expect one in every five males you see on the sidewalk to have his shirt off. There is no correlation between, say, the desirability of seeing this and the person doing it.

6. You must visit L.L. Bean. It's the law.


Susie Cupcakes said...

I think #2,3, and 5 also apply to New England as a whole. Although I think only Connecticut has that terrific "everyone in the car can have an open container (of alcohol) except the driver (unless the driver wants to) wheeeee!" approach to life.

Kim Ayres said...

No wonder it's also known as New England - there are many similarities with Old England.

Except that the jokes will be about crabs rather than lobsters

And it only takes temperatures of over 60 for all the men to take their shirts off

Nikki said...

Dude, I can't take you seriously at all. Moxie is awesome. It's like taking medicine when you don't even have to. And there is nothing wrong with the red hot dogs. Without red hot dogs, my parents may starve to death.

Parramatta 1807 - A Fiction said...

How come you didn't put "lobsters" as a label, eh? Then, if I wanted to avoid everything to do with the little critters, I would ahve swung around you. But I didn't - and I enjoyed it. I think that means that lobsters aren't all bad. Now, back to the label ...

Archivalist said...

Kim -- Outside on way to lunch today for about 5 minutes, I saw 3 shirtless guys. It's 81 today, btw.

Nikki -- Red Hots and PBR is the official meal of Maine.

Parramatta -- label fixed. Everybody happy?