What do you do with it all?

The snow, that is. With record amounts of the stuff piling up around the state, you'd be forgiven if you need to find creative outlets involving snow. And if you're the folks in Bethel, you build things. Like the world's tallest snowman.

Angus, the world's tallest snowman, was built in 1999 and named after then-governor Angus King. A few stats from the website tell the tale:
Height -- 113 ft. & 7 inches tall
Weight -- 9,000,000 lbs
200,000 cubic feet of snow
4 ft. wreathes as eyes
6 ft. of chicken wire & muslin for the carrot nose
6 automobile tires as the mouth
20 ft. fleece hat
120 ft. fleece scarf
3 skidder tires for the buttons
2 - 10 ft. trees for arms


As if that weren't enough, now they're at it again. Today, Bethel will unveil Olympia, soon to become the world's tallest snowwoman. She'll top out over 122' and 12,000,000 pounds (for a BMI of 3936, just a bit into the obese zone.) Olympia also has 30' pine trees for arms; hopefully they'll post full stats on the website soon. In '99 it took Angus 15 weeks to melt: Given this crazy winter, Olympia may actually grow in the coming weeks.

The forecast? Six to ten more inches of snow for us overnight, maybe over a foot at Bethel.

Deadline Day

Those of you who aren't hockey fans can tune out now. For the two of you who are, you know today was the trading deadline in the NHL. While there were probably just two blockbuster-type deals league-wide (PIT getting Marian Hossa and DAL getting Brad Richards), there was plenty of action overall. Here's the AT evaluation of deals involving our favorite division at Archival Trash, the mighty Southeast.

CAROLINA HURRICANES
Get: C/LW Tuomo Ruutu
Lose: LW Andrew Ladd
The Skinny: Hard to say. Ladd is younger, slightly cheaper, and a bit bigger. Both players, former first-round picks, have been injury-prone and are considered minor disappointments. Right now, the edge goes to Carolina, given Ruutu's experience (even though with the Hawks he had no playoff experience) and proven grit. Should Ladd put it together however, down the road it should favor the Hawks.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Get: G Cristobal Huet, C Sergei Fedorov, F Joe Motzko, LW Matt Cooke
Lose: 2nd round pick, D Ted Ruth (prospect), C Alexandre Giroux, LW Matt Pettinger
The Skinny: The Caps add forward depth with Motzko, get a kind-sorta gritty winger in Cooke, hope to resurrect Fedorov for a few weeks, and land an heir apparent to Olie the goalie. I think these are all good deals for the Caps, especially if the 90 year-old Fedorov clicks with Ovechkin.

ATLANTA THRASHERS
Get: C Erik Christensen, RW Colby Armstrong, C Angelo Esposito (prospect), C Alexandre Giroux, PIT 1st round pick
Lose: RW Marian Hossa, LW Pascal Dupuis, F Joe Motzko
The Skinny: Hossa was going to walk anyway, Dupuis is marginal, and Motzko is a fringe player. Christensen and Armstrong won't score like Hossa, but they're character guys and will play hard every night. Esposito has been maligned constantly since playing his way out of being picked #1 overall last year (he wound up going 20th), but is still a quality prospect. Getting an extra first rounder is just icing on the cake, especially after getting rooked out of multiple picks in the Keith Tkachuk deal last year. Probably the best deals in the division.

FLORIDA PANTHERS
Get: LW Chad Kilger, D Karlis Skrastins, goon Wade Belak, TOR 5th round pick
Lose: 3rd round pick, D Ruslan Salei, COL 3rd round pick
The Skinny: Bzzt! I'm sorry, you lose again, Panthers fans. Skrastins is decent, but Kilger will drive you nuts, and Belak is a younger version of Pete Worrell (ie, bad). At least they didn't try to reacquire Todd Bertuzzi.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
Get: G Mike Smith, C Jeff Halpern, F Jussi Jokinen, NAS 7th round pick
Lose: C Brad Richards, G Johan Holmqvist, LW Jan Hlavac
The Skinny: Can you say "Salary Dump?" I guess the Lightning are building for next year, but I question whether Smith can be the big #1 they're hoping for, Halpern is a nice two-way forward, but is nearly 32, and Jokinen is (for now) just a shootout specialist. But, at least they're under the cap now, which could pay off this summer if they can land a free agent or two.

The AT Book Review: The Historian

Today we bring you the first edition of the AT Book Review. Our review features a hefty tome from 2005, Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian. (NOTE: Spoilers are included, so if this book is on your to-read list, skip to the end.)

Let me just start by saying that this was one bad book, all 642 pages of it. After plowing through a couple hundred pages over a few evenings, it took all my strength to keep coming back to it. I waited and waited for something -- anything -- to happen. Okay, okay, we get a few deaths, almost all "off-camera," one near-sex scene, several more-boring-than-usual academic conferences, and miles and miles of travelogue. Only the final item comes closest to being interesting.

The story: Dracula lives (sort of). And he's looking for a historian. Or an archivist (so he says). So Vlad goes and plants these special dragon-symbol books in various libraries and archives around the world, and several characters eventually unearth them. These discoveries inspire our heroes to hunt for Dracula's final resting place. Only each time they start their research, nasty things happen to the people around them. The novel follows a number of these unfortunates -- separately, and, for the reader, drearily together -- through much of the twentieth century, skipping back and forth from the 1930s, 50s, 70s, and the present day. Needless to say, blood is shed mysteriously, some characters behave menacingly, our heroes fret discouragingly, and the plot evolves adverbially.

There are two major problems with this book. First: Why, if Drac really wants to be found by these elite academics, does he then try to frighten them off? Why not just find some competent historian or archivist, make them undead, and solve your problem for all time? We eventually find out he's a discerning reader, has saved/acquired numerous priceless volumes, and has no trouble going anywhere in the world. What gives?

The second, and the biggest problem, is this: once we finally meet El Vladdo (nearly 600 pages in, mind you), he's captured one of our intrepid (read: doomed) hunters and has him begin ... Cataloging His Books! No research. No searching for more ancient tomes. Just making a catalog. Dracula finally has a world-renowned historian in his grasp, a classicist who probably knows even more than does Mr. Impaler, and he has the good professor catalog his library. I only hope our-soon-to-die professor has read his AACR2. (Kostova doesn't say.)

THE GOOD NEWS: Kostova received a $2 MILLION advance for this book. Maybe I should write a story about Dr. Frankenstein and his desire to archive his personal papers.

THE BAD NEWS: There may be a sequel. And a movie.

THE VERDICT: Unless you're an insomniac cataloger who wants to see archivists and academic historians kick the bucket, don't waste your time.

Fundraising

The quest for fame drives most donations. But now, shame can work to your advantage as well. For going beyond the mundane "Friend of the Archives" designation, Archival Trash presents the following fundraising hierarchy. Insert your own dollar amounts.

$$$$$$....Archival Sugar Daddy
$$$$$.....Honorary Degree Recipient*
$$$$......Honorary Archivist (will receive personally scrimshawed Bone Folder)
$$$.......One Who Knows Where the Archives Is Located and Sometimes Uses Your Parking Space
$$........Person Who Drives Past the Archives on Their Way to Work
$.........Someone Who Can Spell 'Archives'
-$........Cost-Cutting Middle Manager/Committee Chair
-$$.......Cost-Cutting Congressman
-$$$......That Administrator With a Shredder Who Won't Return Your Calls
-$$$$.....Mr. Vice President

*or, for non-university archives: New Meeting Room Named After Himself/Herself/Favorite Pet

Presidential Hoopla

Yesterday, Hillary Clinton came to Lewiston. I took the short walk to the Lewiston Armory to join maybe 2,000 others to hear her speak. And I have the photos to prove it.

First of all, outside, a hastily doctored sign.


A closer look at the above. I guess all New England looks alike.



Next, the scoreboard over the Armory floor. Ok, I get the '2008.' But '44?'


Finally, the candidate herself. She gave a good, if typical, campaign speech. But I'm glad to see she and Sen. Obama actually came to Maine.


The Maine Democratic caucuses are held today. Of course, it's snowing. Turnout is still expected to be big, however, and right now the predictions are breaking for Obama. Stay tuned.

Trust Me, I'm An Archivist

Unless you're Daniel Lorello, an archivist for the state of New York, that is. Mr. Lorello has been charged with the theft of multiple items from the state archives, all to pay off his utility and credit card bills. Article link here.

I'm interested to see how New York approaches trying to retrieve any items Lorello already sold. Even though buyers most likely assumed they were getting items in good faith, will they be willing to return them? Will the state reimburse them? Or will we see multiple replevin cases once particular stolen items are identified?

And speaking of replevin, the state of Maine is working through the courts to attempt to retrieve a copy of the Declaration of Independence once owned by the town of Pownalborough (now Wiscasset). Somehow the copy ended up in the possession of a nineteenth century town clerk, and was sold at an estate auction in 1994. This case resembles one in 1999 where a copy once belonging to the town of North Yarmouth was sold in similar fashion. In that case, the parties resolved their differences in early 2001. (Go here.)

MacGuyver's Archival Glossary: The Bone Folder

Admit it, fellow archivistes: before joining the club, you had no earthly idea what a bone folder was. In fact, you probably thought it was one of the following:

a. the coolest move from an old Bruce Lee movie;
b. a professional wrestler;
c. that thing in Jack Sparrow's hair (thanks for that one, Christie);
d. some kind of Dungeons & Dragons magic thingy.

So what is it really? Only the second deadliest tool in the archivist's arsenal, behind the microspatula. Maybe not as subtle and deadly efficient as the metal blade, it's still perfect for eliminating paper creases, stirring drinks, and subduing recalcitrant patrons. Works equally well as a shim or a shiv.

With all these cool tools, can the archival utility belt be far behind?

The Games Before the Big Game

I will go on record right now stating that the Packers and the Patriots will meet in the Super Bowl on February 3.

Ok, picking the Patriots is not exactly taking a risk. With Rivers, Tomlinson, and Gates not at their best (and maybe not even playing, in Rivers' case), I don't see how the Chargers can mount much of a challenge. Yeah, they beat the Colts without big contributions from those three, but didn't Indy look, I dunno, distracted or something last week? Were they planning their trip to NE already, thinking about visiting Faneuil Hall or the Gardner Museum? Even though the Pats have looked mortal the past month or so, I still think they win handily: NE 31, SD 14.

The Packers, on the other hand, definitely are a risk. I didn't think they'd win 8 games this year, let alone getting this far. But they're playing at home, the forecast is very cold temps, and Eli Manning doesn't fare well in the cold. But Brett Favre is still the wild child of QBs, and he scares me every time he drops back for a pass. Still, if the Pack holds on to the ball, they'll win: GB 28, NY 17.

I Meme Mine

(Title with apologies to the Beatles)

Thanks to Brave Astronaut, I've been tagged by an archives meme. More on that below; but first, some pictures I took Monday.

Yes, it snowed again on Monday, just a mere foot, nothing special. This first pic is just after I left for my walk to work, taken around 7:45 Monday morning. It had been snowing for about 30 minutes. You may be able to see the piles of snow along the road from all the previous storms. And yes, it was that dark. Although maybe not so blue.




Here it is, not ten minutes later. There was now about 2 inches on the ground. People were still driving like nothing was happening, speeding along cluelessly. The sidewalks were very slippery just then, so I'm sure the roads were a blast.




Now here it is around 1:00, during the walk home. The building is a local hospital. Only 6 or 7 inches had fallen at that point. Still snowing quite heavily. It was actually quite easy to walk through, as long as you remembered where the curbs were! I don't think this street had been plowed yet. And traffic was slower, but still surprisingly heavy. (On a side note, these "early winter" snows are quite dry and powdery, much more so than the snows I grew up with in the South. Shoveling and cleaning the car is waaayyy easier, almost like brushing sugar off the kitchen counter.)


Now on to BA's meme. The challenge was this: "Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you've written." Each one has specific instructions, listed below. So here goes...

Link 1 must be about family. I have never posted about my family, and likely never will. Except the wife, and only then in glowing terms, because she's perfect. (Hey, I know what I'm doing.)
Link 2 must be about friends. Well, I've never really posted about my friends either. Must be something about posting about people... In lieu of a 'friends' post, here is my post about SAA, where I did get to see most of my friends. Does that count?
Link 3 must be about yourself, who you are... what you're all about. Here's my very first post. Yes, quite a doozy indeed.
Link 4 must be about something you love. Hm. Just to make BA jealous, read this.
Link 5 can be about anything you choose. Everyone's favorite archival tool. Don't leave home without it.

Wow, those are some powerhouse links. Looks like I either need to become more introspective on my blog, or start dishing the dirt. Maybe I can dish some introspective dirt.

Wanted: Proofreder

Just received this in the mail:

"SAA 2008 EAST COST EDUCATION SCHEDULE"

This is why our dues are going up.

January Madness

No, this post isn't about even more snow. Nor about the single-digit temps yesterday and this morning, nor even about the expected thaw coming on Sunday (what, a week in the 40s?!?).

I've been watching the BCS games this week, and I've been less than impressed. Bowl games are always a crapshoot, and I figure NCAA has gone 1-2-1 in the four games so far. USC/Illinois and Georgia/Hawaii were such duds that you wonder why anyone bothered showing up. WVU/Oklahoma was a stinker from a football perspective, but great from a beating-down-OU one. Last night's Kansas/Virginia Tech game was good, giving me hope for Monday's finale. I still can't believe that either Ohio State or LSU got into the final, but hey, what do I know? Anyway, long-suffering football widows/widowers, soon your nightmare will be over.

At least until spring training.

Netflixations

Netflix: don't you wish you'd thought of it? How many times since joining have you spent agonizing minutes (hours?) in a video store trying to: a) figure out what to rent, or 2) remember what you came to the store for. The answer for me is none. And admit it, Netflix is addictive, too. How many of us really care to admit just how much time we've spent adding to and re-working our queues?


All this time spent honing our home entertainment options means an increase in the quality of our choices, right? Um, not really. Sure, I go to Salon and read the annual movies of the year, paying particular interest in the notable indy movies. But over the next few years, how many of these will I watch? One, possibly two, an outside chance at three. More likely, I'll forget the list and never see any of them.


Here's my confession; or rather, along with my wife, our confession. We're addicted to TV shows. Mostly mysteries,and mostly British, and only a few well-regarded shows. Very few American shows ever really catch our attention. Why? Who knows. Maybe that whole familiarity breeding contempt thing. Maybe it's the accents. Or maybe we'd rather avoid a constant stream of shows featuring twentysomething, skeletal Barbies being presented as sexy and alluring. (I once read a quote from a woman wondering what men found sexy about such bony women; she figured the sex must be like sleeping with a coat hanger. But I digress.)


So with apologies to Bergman, Antonioni, Hitchcock, and all the others who worked so hard to craft classic fare that would entertain beyond their lifetimes, here's my list of the favorite Netflix television rentals from 2007.


Inspector Frost Mysteries. A truly great series. Jack Frost is a fiftyish copper in dreary Denton, England. He's cranky, a little dumpy, loves Indian food, and somehow manages to be a hit with the ladies. This show is rightly a classic, and also introduced us to the word "sarnie."


Midsomer Murders. Quite possibly the deadliest mystery series ever, as the people in rural Midsomer County drop like flies in every episode. There are so many things to like about this tongue-in-cheek series, especially the way everyone in a particular village carries on as though nothing is happening even as the body count rises.

Cracker. No, not the godawful Robert Pastorelli series. This is the original, with Robbie Coltrane as the deranged lunatic/psychiatrist headliner. The biggest quibble with these episodes is that the quality went down as the family-related melodrama went up.

Second Sight. A really overlooked BBC show starring Clive Owen. Owen plays a driven detective who needs to cover up the fact that he's losing his eyesight. Only a few episodes, but well worth the rental.

Black Adder. Ok, so not exactly low on the quality meter. I rate this series much higher than Rowan Atkinson's other well-known vehicle, Mr. Bean. This show got better with each series, and also starred some of my favorite actors: a pre-House Hugh Lauries, Stephen Fry, Miranda Richardson (her Queen Elizabeth is possibly the craziest character I've ever seen in a comedy), etc etc.

Father Ted. Really, really sophmoric comedy about three misfit priests stationed on an oddball island off the coast of Ireland. But really, really funny once you get used to it. Trust me: after one episode you'll be saying "What the hell?" After three, you won't be able to stop.

The Closer. The more I think about, really not a very good show. Mediocre plots, okay dialogue,and often some really drecky acting. But still a lot of fun, mostly because of Kyra Sedgwick (please eat something, K). I also get a kick out of the scenes with sidekick (one of many) Michael Paul Chan, of the late lamented show Robbery Homicide Division.

Six Feet Under. We've only watched the first season so far, but the rest are on the queue. Quirky, yes; often self-indulgent, yes. Very good, yes.

I'd also like to give a tip of the hat to Deadwood, quite possibly the worst thing I've seen on TV in some time. And I watched Skating With Celebities.

Fortunately, 2008 promises more dabblings into television's past. Next on the list are such goodies as Nero Wolfe, The Wire, Inspector Alleyn Mysteries, Rosemary & Thyme, Hamesh Macbeth, Taggart, and The Job. Not to mention ones we caught when originally aired: Monk, the "old" ABC series Murder One, and a host of Inspector Lynley Mysteries. 2008 promised to be a very good year.

Resolution Time

1. Continue with the brand new workout regimen. Goal: no more huffing and puffing at the top of stairs, no more surprises when standing on the scales, plus the ability to lift fifty pound boxes.

2. Be more patient and less selfish. (Doesn't everyone promise this?)

3. Expand my professional horizons. Sure, I'll be part of a panel discussion at a conference this spring (GULP), but if I'm ever going to rule the planet, I need to network better.

4. Actually play some golf this year. And not just at a course with windmills and (non-golf-playing) clowns.

5. Blog more regularly, and to keep up with all you folks who actually take time to read this stuff.

Finally, I hope everyone has a happy and safe year. Congrats to some of the regulars here who had (or will have) significant events in their lives -- BA and his new son, Sports Chic and her recent marriage, Susie Cupcakes and her forthcoming wedding. And to everyone else, all of you who are bored enough to keep coming back, thanks for all the laughs,the trivia, and the nutty links.

A Holiday Message

Yes, time for Archivalist's traditional holiday message to my many, many readers. During this high-stress time of overeating and overspending, remember to do your part by, well, overeating and overspending. Big business, your bank, and the credit card companies need support during the holidays too.

All those good intentions and New Year's Resolutions can wait, right? Here in Maine, I figure I've got four more months of winter to work on undoing my indulgences since Thanksgiving. At least, I hope it's only four months...

Happy Holidays everyone!

The Trashman Cometh

No, I'm not dead. Or resting, or pining for the fjords. Or even snowed in (yet). What was a busy few weeks became a busy couple of months, and now that Thanksgiving is behind us, I have a little breathing room again. So what's been going on since I've been away? Let's summarize:

...the Red Sox won the World Series. There was dancing in the streets in Maine. Really. I heard it myself. Silly fans.

...the Wife and I moved to a new (for us) apartment. We're on the second floor, away from the drafty house and the loud, motorcycle-infested street corner.

...it has snowed five times so far, with more due imminently. See the new sidebar attraction at right.

...the Packers are 11-2! 11-2!!! So what if the Pats are unbeaten -- THE PACK IS 11-2! Unfrigginbelievable.

...the college football teams representing my alma mater, my former place of work, and my current place of work went a combined 10-24. And none of those teams was Notre Dame.

...here's a test to see if you're still reading: Which of these four is NOT the name of a former or current breakfast cereal? (No Googling!) 1. Optimum Slim 2. Product 19 3. Milk Floats 4. Body Buddies.

...I bought an iPod. Welcome to the 21st century, finally.

Wow. Such excitement. It's no wonder I took three months off from blogging.

By Their Tote Bags Shall Ye Know Them

Or, Impressions of Chicago, SAA 2007.

Wednesday
Shuttling in from O'Hare, admiring the architecture in downtown Chicago, and not paying attention to the street names, when I see it. Black, lumpy, with that unmistakable logo on it. Then, another one! And again, and then a DC 2006 one! Tote bags! We must be near the hotel, even though the van's windows are closed and I can't smell any Mylar; sure enough 2 minutes later we're pulling in to the hotel cul-de-sac. I hop out, wait for my luggage, rummage through my pockets, and hand the driver some bills. I fleetingly hope I didn't give him $60 but feel it would be uncool to stop and check...In the hotel, a two-hour wait for my room...Registration, and--what is this? A rucksack? Suddenly I feel the need to speak German and sleep in a hostel...Dinner at Navy Pier, next to the "McDonalds of the Future," truly a scary, scary thing.

Thursday
A rousing Plenary Session, thanks in no small part to the presidential intro by Bruce Bruemmer. More laughs in one speech than a whole season of 'Two and a Half Men'...Morning session: "Open Source Software Solutions for Collection Management and Web Delivery." Interesting, and gives me more websites and products to check out...The afternoon brings a visit to the Chicago Art Institute, where I spend a delightful 2+ hours. Edward Hopper's 'Nighthawks' is out on loan, causing me to weep uncontrollably, and somehow I missed the Van Gogh room...First afternoon session "MP-LP Comes Home to Roost: Applying the Greene-Meissner Recommendations Broadly Across an Institution," featuring nearly every professional from the state of Minnesota...Dinner at My Thai on Michigan, where our waiter is a gas -- when he brings our food, he stands at the end of the table and deadpans "Curry chicken, curry chicken, curry chicken" until someone raises their hand. For every order. And he refuses to split our check more than two ways. I hope I got that receipt...The day ends with the "Archives and the Movies" thrill-a-rama, in which Hollywood shows its love for our glorious profession. Seriously, Leith Johnson deserves kudos, or at least a massive pay raise, for getting a room full of serious-minded archivists to laugh at his archival jokes ("Those vampires sure know encapsulation."). Miss it next year at your peril.

Friday
Morning spent at the College and University Section meeting...The afternoon session on "Rethinking Access and Description" sparked (provoked?) some interesting discussion, as those who saw it will agree. At least no one rushed the stage, and no shots were fired...After that, the session "More Product, Less Privacy? Applying Minimal Processing with an Awareness of Sensitive, Confidential, or Restricted Collection Materials" is a tame affair...That night, the event the whole conference leads up to: The All-Attendee Reception...Great food, great company, and: quarter-mile long food lines, $10 drink bands (mmm...Miller Light), rapidly disappearing desserts, hidden bathrooms, and piles of rowdy archivists. Met seemingly the entire DC archival blogosphere, including Order From Chaos (aka Stroller Guy), Friends Told Me I Needed a Blog, Archives Next, and non-bloggers NJM and C in DC. I was truly humbled...Wrapped up with dinner at Russian Tea Time, where we drew another cranky waiter -- when asked to split the check, he replied "You no say this at the beginning," then stalked off. I think we were all overcharged.

Saturday

Leaving early, so only time for soccer on the tube (Tottenham v. Fulham), and a quick walk to Millenium Park, which ends early when I find I have just 1 picture left on my camera...O'Hare proves less daunting than projected, except I go through security twice by mistake (don't ask)...Finally it's back to Maine, where we're given free lobsters, moose meat, and Whoopie Pies upon landing.

See you next year, San Francisco!

Finally, some (estimated) stats from this year's meeting:

attendance -- 1700

# of Starbucks cups spotted at sessions -- 5789

# of college degrees in attendance -- 4075
amt. of outstanding student loans -- $61.6 million

# of sessions -- 64

# of sessions mentioning Meissner-Greene -- 64

# of exhibitors -- 70
# whose products you hate -- 29

% of attendees from NARA -- 33
% of attendees from Harvard -- 33

amt. of The Glenlivet imbibed in hotel rooms -- 207 gallons

# of naps among audience at sessions -- 199
# of naps among presenters -- 12

former co-workers met -- 10
former co-workers whose names I forgot -- 2

# of times I talked about lobsters -- 2

# of times I talked about snow -- 37

Pics are forthcoming...

MacGuyver's Archival Glossary: Exhibits

Definition -- A curious and rarely rewarding affair in which you are asked to do one of three things:

a) fill a large, inadequate space with few items, and to avoid too much text;

b) fill a tiny, inadequate space with many items, and to avoid not having enough text;

c) fill a hopeless space with a sad collection, where no amount of text will save you.

If your institution has none of these problems, you may continue to laugh derisively at the misfortunes of others. I know I do.

Baseball Geekery

Thanks to Brave Astronaut, who runs the Order from Chaos blog, my long-dormant interest in baseball trivia is being slowly reawakened. So to "celebrate," here's a small quiz for you to consider. The first question is a softball -- no pun intended -- and the second question asks you to identify a series of players. All players are pitchers, and to my knowledge all are still alive. No Googling! (Oh, and blame BA for this.)

1. This active -- and not grossly overpaid -- player has compiled a record 19 consecutive seasons with double-digit wins, and should hit twenty shortly. Who is he?

2. These eight pitchers managed to get over 200 career wins without ever winning 20 in a season. Identify each one:

a) I was the first to accomplish this "feat." I played 17 seasons, starting with the Orioles and ending with the Cubs. I came within a pitch of hurling a perfect game. I was also a bit of a pain to get along with during my career, and 25 years after retirement got into an on-air argument with the ump who "ruined" my perfect game. I'm also one of the few who struck out three batters on nine pitches in one inning, in 1971.

b) Before the '07 season started, I had the most wins of this bunch. I too started my career with the Orioles, and finished 23 years later as a reliever in Atlanta. I revived my flagging career in the '80s with a team that no longer exists.

c) My seventeen-year career (most of which occurred in and around La-La-Land) is probably best known for the off-the-field antics of my celebrity ex-wife, including our own well-publicized dust-up.

d) My nineteen-season career was pretty unremarkable until two incidents within the past two years (yes, I'm still pitching!). Hints: I told that camera guy to get out of my face and of course I never doctored that ball.

e) I pitched for 25 seasons, beginning as a quality finisher before a mid-career revival as a starter in the Lone Star State. If you don't knuckle under the pressure, you should guess my name.

f) Although I was a Cardinals draft pick in '67, I made my mark with two other traditional NL powers in the 80s and 90s, one of which finally beat their hated rivals in 1981. I ended my career playing for six teams in three seasons, and am currently an announcer for one of those "traditional powers."

g) I started my career in the early '70s as the second best pitcher on my team. Considering the "other guy" was maybe the best pitcher of his era, that was fine by me. I was a flame-throwing kid who hurt his arm and was reborn a junkballer, but still amassed nearly 3000 strikeouts in my career. I never did make it to the World Series, and retired in 1993 after pitching for both the Mets and Yankees that year.

h) I've had two 19-win and three 18-win seasons, so you could understand why I hate being on this list. But I'm still pitching, so there's hope, right? I'm the third member of this gang to begin his career with the Orioles, and currently am paid quite handsomely to pitch so-so ball. Based on the guys around me, I should have several Cy Youngs and World Series titles to my credit already, but I have neither.

Your Maine Summer Travel Guide

Yes, summer has been with us for over a month, and it's even stopped snowing here in Maine. But now that August is here, it's officially high travel season here in Stephenkinglevania. With that in mind, and as a one-year Maine resident with almost no credibility, I present to you a few travel tips to help you get the most out of your next trip to Maine.

1. Enough with the lobster jokes already. We've heard them all, believe me.

2. Bear in mind that, on any road, people will pull out in front of you regardless of how close you are to them. They will also swerve out of their lane and into yours to avoid something. Relax -- this does not mean they don't like you ... unless you're from out-of-state.

3. Mainers love their motorcycles, and the louder the better. So make sure that hotel room you're overpaying for doesn't face a road. Pony up that extra c-note for the waterfront view.

4. Don't drink the Moxie. Trust me. And avoid the red hot dogs.

5. On any day over 75 degrees, expect one in every five males you see on the sidewalk to have his shirt off. There is no correlation between, say, the desirability of seeing this and the person doing it.

6. You must visit L.L. Bean. It's the law.

Side Trip to Vermont

The wife and I just took a snappy little trip to Vermont the other day, driving to Montpelier one day and back to Maine the next. Given that the 140-mile trip took nearly 4 hours, the drive wasn't so bad except for the fool who nearly killed us when he almost pulled out 50 feet in front of us.

This was our first trip to VT, so here's a quick list of what we did and didn't see:
1. No Bob Newhart. Ditto Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.

2. Several nice little used bookstores in Montpelier. Lewiston isn't even close in this regard.

3. No hotel-sized Ben & Jerry's on the New Hampshire border, a la the casinos on the Utah/Nevada border in the middle of nowhere. This was a serious disappointment.

4. Lots and lots of green, rolling hills and fields. Vermont may be the prettiest state in New England, although I haven't yet been to Maine's Acadia or Mount Katahdin, so stay tuned.

5. Maine lobster is way more expensive there than it is in, say, Maine.


We're going back again soon (long story), so if anyone reading this has any reccomendations in Montpelier, let me know.